Friday, June 9, 2006

Rants about love...



I've done it again ! I am another guy new best friend !

It seems to be a recurring thing in my life : meeting a great guy, becoming fast friends and then Bang ! I'm his new best friend and wouldn't it be a shame to ruin that ?

Now that would explain why most of my friends are guys...

I should really have stucked with long term one night stands : random guys that should have stayed in my life for, well, only one night but for some reasons, stayed for a while. I've never had the butterfly effect, the anticipation, the tingling effect. I've never had a real first date neither. Or a real first kiss. Or my heart broken. Maybe it all comes from my constant need to please and to take care of other people : By always putting my needs last, I have less chances of getting myself hurt. I've had my ego crushed and bruised many, many times however ! That should explain my way too long list of exes or why I felt the need of getting restraining orders against 2 of them...

Somebody recently told me that all women have exactly the love life they want. Ouch. In that case, I should really get my act together and really try to figure out what I'm looking for as a partner ! I may have had many boyfriends but I don't recall ever pausing and asking myself what I really wanted : I've always blamed my bad choices men wise on being an artist.

Many people around me have come to the conclusion that I've been looking at the wrong places from the start. You think ?? See, a good friend of mine, Mr. B, has been in LOVE with me for almost 15 years now. Yup, that long. He reiterate his love at least once a year, to make sure I guess, that I don't forget he is there waiting for me... Don't worry though : It's been said and told that I really value our friendship but that I'll never share the same kind of feelings.

What if my friends were right ? What if the guy of my dreams was in fact Mr. B ??

Should I go the easy way and settle for a guy who will make a great lifelong companion but whom I'll never LOVE or should I keep looking for the perfect guy ?

I need a drink...

20 comments:

Dara said...

Nothing in life is a sure thing and all things are impermanent. Does that help? lol. Here from Michele's.

verniciousknids said...

Your final question is a tough one, keep the lifelong friend...but keep looking for the partner!

Here because you visited me after being sent from Michele :D

KaraMia said...

If you feel like Mr. B is an example of "settling" for you, then he is not the one, keep looking. Never short change yourself. Life is better spent "alone" then with someone you will always wonder about...or spend time thiking "what if"
Kara

utenzi said...

Michele sent me!

Wet T-shirt. Just find some excuse to be on one around this guy-friend. Few things convince a guy that a female friend is more than a friend faster than wet shirts. I tell you in two shakes of a cute little lamb's tail he'll be convinced you two belong together forever.

I know, I know. Women never believe this shit. We men really are wired that way. Nipples dominate our brainwaves. Just give it a try!

Lisa said...

I agree with karamia. If Mr. B really was the one, you would know on SOME level that he was. The fact that you used the word "settle", would indicate that you don't feel that way on any level. Which is fine! You should never settle! You'll find what you want...
Michele sent me today!

Catherine said...

I have no wise words to offer on this one. I enjoyed reading your blog though. Re the 10000th visitor - my site meter counts my visits the same as any other person. I guess you have a smarter site meter than mine.
Michelle sent me

shpprgrl said...

Keep looking keep looking! I remember when I was where you are now. I had tons of guy friends and was everybody's little sister. (Which wasn't good at the time) I did finally find the one, it just took lots of patience and trolls to get there!

margalit said...

I don't really believe in the perfect guy. I used to, and then I met and married what I thought was my perfect guy, and 7 years hence he was SOO not perfect anymore. I think that the passion is great in those hot perfect love affairs, but the passion doesn't remain hot and then you get to deal with the lack of perfection. I think it's probably better to find someone compatible and who can be your best friend as well as your companion. I just wish I had known that a lot earlier in my life.

Here from Michele

kontan said...

Most of my friends are guys too...a little odd at times.

BTW...never "settle" go for the bells and whistles with shoot stars and flutters!

Here from Michele's

Shane said...

yeah, make me one too while you're at it.

sage said...

here from Michele and as a guy, am not sure if I should offer any advice... But I wish you well.

utenzi said...

Whoever told you that women have exactly the love life that they want is full of *hit. That's just not true. Don't let an idea like that bother you, TP. Besides, change always occurs and I'm sure your romantic life will improve.

Michele sent me again!

yellojkt said...

I can't believe all these guys just want to be friends. Make them watch When Harry Met Sally. I need to live vicariously through you. You seen to have a very interesting life.

Dear AL said...

I say wait until the right guy comes along. It may be a long wait, or maybe not, but at least you'll have a few more one night stands in between! There's nothing wrong with that, as long as the guy wears a hat!

Hi, you sent me!

Have a nice weekend!

barbie2be said...

ok, let me think for a minute... i was just watching the Style network series called #1 Single. it's about Lisa Loeb (the singer). she is single again after 2 back to back 6 year relationships in a row. so the show is all about her dating and trying to meet "The One" (tm). it was a cute show but in the end, she was getting pretty serious with a guy that she had known since college who had always been one of her closest friends. it seemed to work for her.

OTOH, i have recently heard the same thing about all women having exactly the love life the want. i'm hoping it's not true because i am not digging the love life that i have at the moment.

good luck with whatever you decide to do. :)

and oh yeah... michele sent me.

Crazy Girl City said...

I am another one on the 'there is no perfect guy' bandwagon. I do believe the great lifelong companion thing is a must. If you can be the best of friends, love each other, hate each other (for the moment anyhow), want to get the hell away from the other, only to be excited to come home to that person, than thats as close to perfect that you can get.

I think the lifelong companion thing is SO very important, but so are the chemistry and the love feeling, too.

I do think the love/chemistry thing can be misleading as well as overrated at times. It happens more frequently than great companionship does. People think that love can conquer all, but in reality, you have to have companionship to conquer all.

Carmi said...

Never settle. You deserve more.

Malinda777 said...

I'll pour you that drink and share one with you.

You'll know when HE comes, you will just melt and he will be yours forever. Hang in there and enjoy the men you meet in between.

All your life's experiences will teach you all you will need to be the perfect woman for that guy when you meet him. Cheers, here from Michele.

Gypsy said...

Keep looking, but maybe try looking at Mr. B in a new way? He might surprise you.

Elisabeth said...

I think Gypsy has a good point. Maybe you are the one that has not wanted to loose your friendship with Mr. B., so try opening your heart. I found your blog when I was Googling for "women have exactly the love life they want", since I heard that recently too, some comedian or something said it but I can't find out exactly who. But I think it is true in a way, I'm sure if I left my husband I could get any number of my guy friends to step into his place easy. I don't want to do that though; with some I might have more of an intellectual spark than with my husband, some I might have more in common with, some I might laugh with more, but I doubt any are better in bed! I've made that my final criteria, rather than butterflies or feelings of missing the person or companionship. Of course he's also an extremely good guy, trustworthy and honest. I guess I'm saying chemistry at the sexual level speaks volumes in a silent way, and I've come to trust that.